Stand Up To Beauty Standards

Category: Uncategorized

  • Jessica London Summer Edit

    6C1A70A4-2EDE-4894-9A82-F5FEA8B7E87FBy now it’s no mystery that I am a huge Jessica London fan! But I mean, come one, can you blame me? Jessica London is an online women’s clothing retailer that carries sizes 10-32 in a variety of styles and trends both classic and new! There’s truly something for everyone and that’s not something you see often! Right now Jessica London is having an awesome sale, an extra $25 off orders $50+ plus free shipping on order $75+ with code JLESUMMER25! So before you rush over for your new summer wardrobe,  I put together a little look book of my favorite Jessica London Summer styles! 

     

    The Every Occasion Dress

    There’s honestly no better feeling than finding THE perfect dress. You know the one! The dress that fits practically every occasion, is comfortable AND cute! Well this is *that* dress and babe, it has pockets! I know, I know, you’re welcome! This dress is currently available in sizes 12-28 and also comes in floral print! DFCD8327-5658-4883-BAE7-A4E6B474C66A

     

    Peppy Pink Blazer (aka the Barbie Blazer)

    Everyone needs a good blazer for work, interviews and networking events because nothing says, I’m professional and fabulous like a sharp blazer! Pink is my signature color so I love adding this Jessica London blazer to any neutral outfit for a pop of summer color and a flare of Lexi! Pink not your thing? Fear not! This blazer comes in white as well! This stye is currently available in size 12-28. JL also carries a variety of blazers in many other colors if you’re in need of a classic back or grey! 6050A07B-9999-42EE-A4D5-C9B1565FC49A

     

    Date Night Dress

    Summer style is all about colors! I’ve been gravitating toward sunny happy yellow this season! This bow sleeve dress is the perfect dress for a night on the town that will surely help you make a statement. This dress is currently available in sizes 12-24, and is only one of many eye catching, brightly colored pieces Jessica London has to offer. 2F73AF60-3E40-4562-B83C-7C8EC059AD9D

     

    Classic Black and White 

    As much as I love bright fun colors, sometimes a girl just needs a classic black and white look (paired with red lips, of course!) It’s a timeless trend that compliments everyone. You can’t go wrong! These Tummy Control Twill Ankle Pants are both comfortable and chic! They come in a variety of colors and patterns and are currently available in size 12-28. This black and white Lace Tunic is refined with a bit of flare. This feminine and flouncy top is currently available in sizes 12-26. C164D32C-CCC6-42DF-A875-E8B93D698F6B

     

    The Ultimate Comfy Fit 

    This last outfit is hands down the most comfortable summer look ever! This soft Cross Neck Tunic is both flattering and versatile and is currently available in sizes 12-32 as well as different colors and patterns! These stretchy and stylish Palazzo Pants are also available in sizes 12-32 as well multiple colors and patterns. Whether you’re chillin’ in your backyard, running errands, or attending an outdoor concert, this is a go-to for those hot summer days! 543F4176-64BB-48D1-B40F-AF9BF719A556

     

    98B82D3E-038E-4A9C-BECA-2374AF090DD0I’d love to see what goodies you find, so be sure to post a pic of you in your new outfit on instagram and tag @lexinimmo and @jessicalondonstyle! If you want to be featured on the Jessica London page, use hashtag #imwithjessica. For a feature on my page, be sure to use my hashtag #standuptobeautystandards! Happy shopping, y’all!

     

  • My First Plus Strut 5K

    On May 4th 2019 I had the privilege of being a part of the most supportive and accepting athletic activities of my life: The Plus Strut 5K! The Plus Strut, founded by Joy Tribble, is the first 5K for plus size women in North America and it takes place annually in Atlanta Georgia. The first Plus Strut 5K was in 2018 but this year was my first time and I was emotional!

    E56CE02D-6D5F-4F59-95EC-45BF5A7575E1

    Growing up chubby was hard. I won’t get in to all the gory details but I was laughed at and teased on a daily basis. Gym glass was my waking nightmare! The kids who were fat yet athletic didn’t get made fun of and the kids who were thin but not athletic only got teased a little, but I was  fat and horrible at sports and therefore, the perfect combination for bullies. I was a slow runner, had weak wrists, and always coward when a bal came my way. Let’s just say I was a lot better at reading than I was at kickball! Even though I enjoyed being active and outdoors I would dread physical activity with my peers because I would get yelled at and called names for not being good at it and my chubby body was blamed. I not only felt inferior in my athletic abilities but also in my appearance.

    After years of this emotional abuse that was ignored and sometimes encouraged by the adults I was supposed to be able to trust, I developed a lot of anxiety about exercising with others. I would opt for working out at the gym solo during hours that weren’t busy or doing a home arobics  video. I had walked a few 5Ks before for charity but felt so anxious and out of place that I didn’t enjoy myself at all. But in the past couple of years I began a self love journey that has been so healing and empowering. I truly feel at peace with my body. When I was asked to be an ambassador for the Plus Strut 5K I jumped at the chance thinking those fears from my past were behind me! That wasn’t completely true.

    The night before the race I was sick to my stomach with nerves. I was thinking up excuse to get me out of it. A migraine, my period, diarrhea, ANYTHING. It sounds ridiculous but if you struggle with anxiety you understand that fight or flight instinct: I was ready to fly my ass right outta Atlanta! But as I was laying in bed in our Air Bnb I thought about my thousands of followers whom I preach body acceptance to everyday. I thought about my two amazing friends and supportive boyfriend who came to support this amazing event. I thought about the other women who would be strutting with me who are also scared. Finally I thought about chubby, sad, 9 year old Lexi and how much she needed a community like this. I decided that no matter how nervous I was I would chose to be brave and follow through. This was my chance to be the change I wish to see in the world , even if it’s in a small way.

    2BFA30A3-622E-4584-A2CA-F8EAB9D03469

    Boy am I happy I didn’t give up! Words cannot truly describe how validating it is to be surrounded by women who look like you, are cheering you on, and leaning on each other. At The Plus Strut I witnessed more sisterhood and positivity than I have my entire life. Some of us were fast, some of us were slow. Young and old, different races, various shapes, multiple  levels of physical ability and all sisters in this journey of self love and respect. We laughed, cried, danced, and celebrated each other! Just when I wasn’t sure if I could kee going, a woman would tell me “you’re doing great, you got this!”. When I finished as one of the very last to cross the finish line, I was met with the same level of enthusiasm and congratulations as if I’d fished in first place! I felt seen, represented and like I truly belonged.

    May 2nd 2020, save the date! That’s when we will be strutting next, and I want you all strutting by my side. As The Plus Strut slogan says, this ones for us! CDDEB330-1FFA-44EC-8A61-2B65B69D06FA

  • Social Media 101

    Whether you’re a small business, artist, public figure, blogger, influencer etc. nowadays, we all have one thing in common: social media. Social media has not only become a huge part of our personal lives but it’s now an extremely valuable marketing tool that could make or break your personal brand. But growing a quality following no easy feat! There’s more to a strong online presence than pretty pictures or clever captions. There are algorithms, community guidelines, and a ton of competition so unfortunately the odds are stacked against you. There are, however, a few things you can do to be sure you’re staying on top of it and putting your best post forward!

    First, lets focus on your content. You want to post pictures with bright vivid colors that pop and catch the attention of your scrolling followers. You never want to post pictures with words on them (memes, flyers, etc.) because the algorithm prefers pictures of faces. Other pictures get much less traffic. It’s important to post things that are interesting and on brand. Your followers follow you for YOU so even when you switch it up a bit, remember who you are. That being said, you don’t want your content to get stale so be sure to take pictures with various backgrounds and poses and try not to post pictures that are too similar.E61EAAE5-EB33-4524-8A7A-C23552CBAF48

    Obviously it’s best to use a DSLR camera to take photos, but smart phones are so advanced now, with proper lighting an iPhone or Android will do! Lighting is everything. You want to be sure you pictures are well lit, bright and clear. You can find light kits and ring lights on Amazon for less than $200 but if you’re tight on cash or don’t have lights handy, natural daylight will do. When taking pictures in natural light, be careful of shadows and over exposure. You will need to edit your photos to put the final professional touches on them but avoid instagram and snapchat filters. Instead, try apps like VSCO or LightRoom. I use the free version of VSCO for all of my original photos! When writing your captions keep in mind who your audience is. Captions can be long, thoughtful paragraphs or a short and sweet quote or lyric. Experiment with different kinds of captions and see what your followers respond to best. Whatever you write, be sure you’re staying true to your voice and authentic to who you are!   

    It’s extremely important to know what your brand is. What is your niche? What are your goals for your social media account and what do you offer to your followers? These can be really tough questions to answer but the best way to nail down your niche is by asking yourself “why should people follow me? Why would I follow someone like me?”. Once you find your niche you can begin to cultivate your brand and target your desired audience. You want to eventually find that perfect balance between giving the people what they want and just being yourself.

    Now let’s talk numbers! There’s no way to truly know when the best time to post is. You want to post 3-7 times a week and at times when your followers are most active online. If you haven’t already, switch your instagram settings over to a business account so you can view your stats and figure out when your followers are most active. However, this isn’t fool proof and you’ll have to find the best time to post through trial and error. Keep in mind that these optimal days and times will change because peoples internet habits change and so does the algorithm. Speaking of the algorithm, it’s not your friend. Those little social media robots run a tight ship! To play nice with the robots be sure to engage with other accounts as much as possible with not only likes but also comments containing more than four words. This is what you need on your posts too! To encourage your followers to comment something longer than “Cute!” try asking a question in your caption. The more you engage back and forth the more the algorithm will love you. It’s also helpful to utilize new features on instagram like IGTV, polls, question box, quizzes etc. Instagram favors accounts that use these features and they are a great way to engage your followers!

    Hashtags can be a great way to target your audience! Instagram allows you to post up to 30 hashtags and you should post as many as possible. You want to pick very specific hashtags and avoid the most popular ones. For example, you might want to avoid #ootd and instead use #ootd curvy. You can also tag up to 20 accounts in your photo. Tag the places where you got your outfit, pages that feature accounts like yours, relevant organizations, and public figures with a similar brand. It can also be super beneficial to collaborate with similar accounts! You could do a “shout-out for shout-out” with another account were you would post a picture from each others pages. You can get super creative with it! The other day I saw a collab with four fashion bloggers (one of which is my good friend Shannon Grace! )where they each styled the same skirt different and then shared each others pics in their insta stories. I thought that was brilliant because it showcased their talent as fashion bloggers and reached three times the number of followers!

    Something that is kind of scary is the risk of losing all of this hard work and awesome content you’ve meticulously curated. Unfortunately all of the social media platforms we hold so near and dear reserve the right to delete us without warning! It happened to me recently and It was awful! I was about to hit 20K and *poof* my page vanished into thin air with no explanation. I learned a lot from that experience but the most valuable takeaway is always have a back up page ! A back up page is just a second account you manage in case your main account gets deleted. You can tell all of your followers to also follow you there and even if you don’t post on your back up page often, you won’t have totally start from scratch in the event you lose your main page.

    There’s really so much more to the brave new world of social media, I couldn’t possibly fit it all into one blog post! I have been getting a lot of questions about targeting your audience and securing brand partnerships so I plan on doing separate blog post for both! If you have specific questions or need guidance building your brand and social media following I am now offering Skype sessions for a flat rate of $75! We can talk as long as you need and I will help you in any way I can! Shoot me an email or a DM if you want to chat more about working together!

    XOXO

    FAC8D8A6-1BED-472A-A389-FEF6DD8A3E3D.jpeg

     

  • Instagram Deleted Me

    Instagram disabled my account

    You can follow my backup account here

    At 9am CST I opened up my Instagram app as I do first thing every morning. Over the past year Instagram has become a huge part of my life. I began influencing in July of 2018 as a way to become more visible in the film and fashion industries and it quickly turned into so much more. I realized that I could help people by sharing my struggles and triumphs with mental health, body image, leaving an abusive marriage and navigating the entertainment industry as a plus size women. I’ve connected with thousands of amazing people who joined me in #standuptobeautystandards and together on my page @lexinimmo we created a community of fashion, inclusivity, and support! As of 2 AM CST (the last time I successfully logged in) I had 19,910 followers. So close to 20K. I was so excited.

    But this morning when I opened up my app I wasn’t able to log in. I tried everything. Nothing worked. I called my mom and asked her to look up my page. It was gone. My brain immediately went in to damage control mode and for the past 4 hours I’ve emailed Instagram, messaged ALL my friends and family, posted on Facebook, started #FindLexi, created this back up page, DMd and followed so many people that Instagram put me in a “time -out”. I’m so scared. I’ve worked so hard and I’ve come so far just to have everything be taken from me. This is my source of income. I have brand partnerships that I’m currently in the middle of! And most importantly my followers are gone-all those people I connected with. Hopefully they all find me here. Hopefully I get my account back. Hopefully I don’t lose all my sponsorships. Honestly I have no idea what’s going to happen. But one thing I know is that I’m loved. So many friends and colleagues have shared #FindLexi and offered support. I’m so moved by the kindness I’ve been shown today. I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster. Thank you for being here and thank you for caring.3850025D-1438-4F34-830F-60296F97F58E

  • Hurt No More

     

    Content Warning: Abuse

    I had the honor of being a part of singer songwriter Dani Jack‘s newest project Hurt. As a survivor of assault, Dani wanted to write a song that all survivors could relate to and create a music video that gives us a voice and shows our strength. That incredible video premieres next month in conjunction with the Second Annual Acoustic Healing Benefit for Espere Community Counseling Center.  (Date: Monday, April 8th/Time: 7pm-10pm-ish/Location: Live Oak Nashville). 6CBC0533-C835-412A-B73E-8FCF60F8C49C

    The event is free with an encouraged donated, and any profits that come from the video and benefit go straight to the Roots of Courage program for Espere. I will be there and I hope you will attend as well! This project is very close to my heart as a survivor of multiple assaults and also an abusive marriage. I try to be open about my experiences in hopes of encouraging others to come forward. So in the spirit of transparency: I’m not doing great right now. 

    I’ve been battling some intense anxiety lately. Nightmares, panic attacks, changes in behavior. I though it was random or from the stress of being too busy. But I a realized it has everything to do with my (would be)anniversary. Last week marked the anniversary of what would have been 3 years of marriage with my abusive ex husband as well as the anniversary of when I found out he was having an affair. The weeks that followed were a nightmare as the abuse worsened, I reported him, and moved back home. I didn’t think I cared anymore because I’m strong and happy and he means nothing to me. But abuse and trauma runs deep and I can’t help but feel haunted by him. 

    The abuse was mostly emotional. Gaslighting, withholding affection, ghosting, twisting my words and somehow always putting the blame of me. He made sure I was in a constant state of insecurity and that at the end of the day I was on my knees begging him to love me. After we married, and he was deployed he had an affair for 7 months of our 1 year of marriage. I realize now that he had probably cheated on me in the four years we dated. 

    When he came back from deployment (in Spain doing clerical work by day and partying by night) he was angrier, bolder. He became physical with me, shoving, pulling, pinning me down, backing me into a closet, screaming and threatening me. He didn’t punch me in the face, choke me, or even leave a mark on me but we were certainly on our way. (Abuse always evolves and intensifies). We started couple therapy but it did nothing. He started hiding my car keys and stealing my debit card to control me. When I finally reported the abuse they found my card in his wallet. But it wasn’t enough proof. And the fact I told the therapist in private that I felt unsafe wasn’t enough proof. The navy told me that unless he left a mark on my skin that could be photographed, I had no case. All they could do was give me a 30 day protection order and make him leave the house until I moved out. 

    So I reported his infidelity. He had to have some consequence for how he treated me. In the military it’s “illegal” for a service member to cheat on their spouse and it’s especially frowned up to do so with a fellow service member (which he did). They both confessed and he get zero punishment. No justice. He’s been promoted at least 3 times since I left in spring of 2017 (soon after our 1 Year anniversary).

    This time two years ago I was living in hell. My mental health was at an all time low, and I felt hopeless and miserable. But little did I know that just a few months later I’d be back in Nashville with my support family enjoying the summer with friends and back on track to pursuing my passions. In many ways I moved on very quickly. I was happier almost instantly and began dating again with ease. But even two years later, when faced with the anniversary of our marriage in 2016, and our demise in 2017,  I’m plagued with feeling those emotions all over again. 

    You never forget abuse. The hurt never goes away completely. But you are stronger than you know and you don’t have to live with pain everyday. You are not alone. You’re going to be okay. You’re a survivor. #hurtnomore

    If you or someone you know is in need of assistance please call the national domestic abuse hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

  • Eleven Bridal: Helping Curvy Women Find The Perfect Bridal Gown

    IMG-0187(current dress selection at Eleven Bridal, Nashville TN)

    The wedding industry in a multi billion dollar industry(53.4 billion as of 2013) and there are approximately 2.5million weddings in America every year. 68% of women in America are a size 14 or above. When shopping for a formal gown you often size up once or twice, so the average American women would probably purchase a size 16-18 gown. Yet, plus size women have a much harder time finding quality wedding gowns! If you’ve ever shopped for a plus size wedding gown, then you know that bridal shops have a very limited amount of gowns in plus sizes. The few gowns they do carry are often plain or matronly and rarely what the bride is looking for. Often the bridal shop will offer to order a gown if it comes in your size but they don’t have your size to try on. so they squeeze you into a gown 3 sizes too small using clips or their own hands to hold it together and instead of feeling like a princess you feel like the Incredible Hulk.

    IMG-0182.JPG(some of my favorite sparkly gowns from Eleven Bridal)

    Every woman deserves to try on beautiful gowns and feel like a queen. Its a day many women have dreamed of their whole lives and choosing a gown should be an exciting experience. 68% of women shouldn’t be forced to order online or choose from a limited selection of mediocre gowns. There are a handful of Bridal shops dedicated only to plus size brides but until now the closest plus size bridal shop to Nashville was 5 hours away in Atlanta. Now we have our very own gorgeous plus size Bridal shop, Elven Bridal Curvy Couture! Eleven bridal, the first and only plus size bridal shop in Nashville, carries sizes 12-32 ON THE RACK…thats right, on the rack! All of heir gowns are high quality, and a variety of styles to choose from. Eleven Bridal is a family owned business with a mission to help plus size brides find the perfect gown for their special day.

    IMG-0186

     

    I had the pleasure of attending the grand opening of Eleven Bridal and it is lovely! Every appointment is private so that every bride receives a personal and intimate experience. My beautiful blogger friend Melissa (aka Fabglance, http://www.fabglance.com) and I decided to collaborate on an in-depth look into the Eleven Bridal experience! Keep a look out for this fun collab where we play dress up and receive the ultimate bridal treatment!

    27646e0e-5859-471a-9210-ec107eb5b8af

    Eleven Bridal will be at The Pink Bride bridal show in Nashville Sunday January 13th from 11-4! Myself and 3 stunning models will representing Eleven Bridal in their breathtaking gowns! Id love to see you there! For ticket info visit http://www.thepinkbride.com .

    I’m excited to work with such a wonderful company and to share my experience with you all! To book an appointment visit http://www.elevenbridal.com or call 615-722-7433.

    IMG-0196.JPG

    (Eleven Bridal, 6901 Lenox Village Drive Suite 102 Nashville TN)

  • Positivity Isn’t Happy

    Positivity isn’t happy. Positivity isn’t cheerful, peppy, perky, blissful, unbothered, and

    tickled pink. So often I hear people bashing the “positive vibes only” narrative saying

    that its fake and people who preach positivity aren’t allowing people to experience

    the full spectrum of human emotions. this is just false. Lets break this down, shall

    we? (all tea, no shade.)

    pos·i·tiv·i·ty

    /ˌpäzəˈtivədē/

    noun
    1.
    the practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude.
    2.
    the presence rather than absence of a certain substance, condition, or feature.

    In this definition (thanks Google!) you see no mention of backflips, women laughing  

    while eating salads (Google THAT you’ll thank me), rainbows, unicorns, or shit that

    smells like roses. It’s about optimism. It’s the difference between sitting in your broken-

    down car crying, and getting out and pushing. Positivity is looking at your mess-of-a-

    situation and saying, “Wow this is awful. I’m going to cry about this a lot. Then I’m going

    to figure this out.” Positivity is saying, “This seems impossible, I feel really defeated, and

    insecure. but I have to keep trying.” Because honestly, if  you’re going through Hell why

    would you stop? Why stop in hell?

     

    Adopting a positive outlook isn’t always going to be like a montage from Legally Blonde

    “What, like it’s hard?” Yes. Yes it is. (Also I really hope you get my legally blonde

    reference). My point here is that, sure, some people are good at everything and success

    comes naturally and they’re hella rich and pretty and everything is easy peasy lemon

    squeezy. But for most of us Positive Pollys out here, this shit is difficult difficult lemon

    difficult. For me, positivity often looks like frustrated tears, self doubt, risks, fear of those

    risks, burning the midnight oil, exhaustion, and did I mention tears? But the thing is, I

    keep going. I keep moving forward toward my goals. I pick myself up and power through

    the difficult times the best I can. Sometimes I’m brave and bold and strong and I eat

    haters for breakfast. But even if im kicking and screaming the whole way barely

    surviving…I SURVIVE. I come out on the other side and I heal like wolverine because I

    refuse to surrender to the negativity. Positivity is the glimmer of hope that keeps you

    moving when you just want to lay down and give up.

     

    So when I say “positive vibes only” I mean “Get your toxic, self sabotaging, negative

    energy away from me.”  Because my positivity is a fragile little flower that I need to

    nurture and protect and while we welcome rain clouds, those forest fires can  %@!# off!

     

    (photographer: H.N. James @punkrockfoto )

    Lexi 2.jpg

  • “Just Five More Minutes”

    I’m so tired.

    Not just tired, like after a long day when you’re ready to cozy up in bed.

    I’m exhausted.

    I’ve exhausted all my energy to speak, motivation to move, desire to be.

    I’m drained.

    I’m drained completely of the liveliness in me, left empty and pale skinned.

    I’m sorry.

    I’m sorry, the inbox you’ve reached is full. I’ll call back. Maybe later. No I won’t.

    Fifteen hours.

    I slept for fifteen hours and all I did was have nightmares of losing people I love.

    Fifteen hours.

    In fifteen hours I could’ve gone to work, hit the gym, walk the dog, cooked dinner.

    I login.

    I login for the first time in 24 hours and that was a mistake. The world is on fire.

    I’m aching.

    My back aches from laying down, my stomach from hunger, my head, who knows.

    I should shower.

    If I shower maybe I could wash away the worry and drowsy, but then I’d have to stand.

    I’m guilty.

    I feel overwhelmingly guilty for not using my legs, my time, my breath in my lungs.

    I’m lucky.

    I know I’m lucky to be alive, to be loved, to have the opportunities I hold in my hands.

    I’m tired.

    I’m just so tired today, I’ll call back tomorrow, I’ll create tomorrow, I’ll post tomorrow.

     

    37028735_2154081341542596_682503619395715072_n

  • An Emotional Essay On Diet Culture

    There is a concept that seemed so obvious after I had the realization, something that should be a given, something you shouldn’t have to learn. But society has beauty standards with roots so deep that we accept diet culture as the norm. Okay let me blow your mind: It’s not healthy to have a weight loss goal. Okay before anyone complains *eye roll* obviously I’m not referring to people who are morbidly obese. If someone weighs 600 lbs, it makes perfect sense for them to have a weight loss goal, but their goal is health based, not aesthetic. However, a woman who is (for example) 180 lbs, exercises regularly, eats nutritious foods, and has no medical conditions such as diabetes or thyroid disease, is still strongly encouraged to lose weight.

    Why? She is living a balanced healthy lifestyle. But according to her BMI she should weigh 130 lbs and her size 12 jeans are considered “plus size”  so this healthy person is now on a mission lose 50 lbs (thats a TON believe me i’ve done it). Here’s the problem, she’s already healthy so regular nutritious food and exercise isn’t working. Her body has hit its happy weight (natural state) but diet culture calls this a “plateau’ and when you reach this point your encouraged to exercise HARD and and restrict foods that are essential to your actual health like carbs and fats. This is the part were our healthy woman runs so hard she gets shin splints, lifts so much that she has a slipped disk in her back and is only consuming 1200 calories a day. She’s losing weight and people tell her she looks “so good” and all the smoothies and gym selfies are proof of how healthy she is right? Wrong. Her body is in pain, lacking energy, and worst of all her mental health is declining. Isn’t she supposed to feel better? Why is she never satisfied, why is she afraid to eat around her friends, why is she always exhausted.

    You see, she was healthier at 180 lbs size 12 than at 130 size 6. Because that’s how HER body works. All bodies are different and we have to just accept that! But we have been brainwashed to believe that healthy is under a size 8 and under 140 lbs and you must exercise as hard as possible and eat as little as possible to get there. FALSE. To be healthy all you have to do is eat mostly nutritious food (not junk or fast food), exercise regularly and safely, drink water, meditate, and get fresh air. If you aren’t doing these things, and then you start, your body will adjust accordingly which may result in weight loss which just means your body is finding its happy place. Or maybe you gain weight, which is also okay because that probably means you needed to! Listen, if we all ate the same healthy food and did the same exercise, we would still all be different sizes! Striving to lose inches and pounds is not an attempt to be healthy, it’s an attempt to shrink yourself to fit society’s mold. Don’t fall into that trap! Because I did, and it caused a lot of heartache.

    I was a chubby kid even though I ate really healthy and my skinny friends ate Little Debbie cakes and Pop Tarts. I had my thyroid checked and all was well, so it was decided I just  had a slower metabolism than most kids my age. I also didn’t play sports because I hated sports and preferred books. So my parents though I might enjoy the gym instead, and I did! Turns out I loved exercise, just not with a bunch of screaming children (who would honestly?). I ended up slimming down naturally because my body found its “happy place” but I wasn’t trying to be smaller, just more active.

    However, I began getting so many compliments from adults about my smaller body that I began to believe that i was better for being smaller. That the smaller I got the better i’d be. That my purpose in life was to be smaller. I began starving myself a few days at a time and purging after big meals. The purging became addictive (big emotional release) and I continued that for several more years, and will struggle with bulimia for the rest of my life. My senior year of high school I was the woman I mentioned before, 180 lbs, size 12, healthy and balanced. But I HATED the way I looked because it didn’t fit into society’s beauty standards.

    I’m now 90 lbs heavier and 10 years older and WAY happier. There was a decade long journey that brought me to where I am now but that’s another story for another day. But I had to go through hell to find the truth and find my inner peace with my body. I feel like I’m awake now and I see diet culture for what it is, a predatory, billion dollar industry that preys on your insecurities and desire to be accepted. Am I currently physically healthy? I’m in the middle. No health issues (perfect blood tests and physicals) but I need to exercise more often and cook at home more. I’d love for my body to find its new happy place and I’m prepared to be patient and understanding with whatever changes may come. My only goal is to be healthier, not smaller. Not lesser. I love my body because it’s the only one I’ve got and life is too short to waste time hating myself or wishing I were someone else.

    I will not restrict, but I will nurture my body. I will not overexert but I will move and strengthen my body. I will not weigh and measure but respect and honor my body. I’m not a number on a scale, a number in a pair of jeans, a BMI, or a statistic. I’m human, with flawed and beautiful human flesh that I will strive to take care of so I can live a long happy life. Don’t feed into to diet culture. Starve it to death

    SNY02576_HR Edited.jpg

  • Oh Hey, I Blog Now?

    Okay I caved! I blog now (I think..honestly I have no idea what I’m doing lmfao). If you follow me on Instagram you know that I’m an actress and model with a passion for inspiring women to love their bodies, encouraging discussions about mental health, and motivating people to unapologetically follow their wildest dreams! I’m just a melinnial  trying to make art and be your friend! So in this blog shit is gonna get weird. Maybe I’ll post about fashion, or write an essay on the dangers of diet culture, or a poem about my mental health, or a draft of my latest comedy sketch for you to enjoy. This is seriously going to be a look into my mind and a catch all for whatever I am up to or working on. Kinda like that junk drawer in your kitchen that has random shit in it but every time you need birthday candles, a screw driver, or a hair tie you’re like ‘hey, thanks junk drawer!”. (don’t lie, we all have one. embrace it.) I love y’all and appreciate your endless support of my shenanigans. Thanks for being a pal and don’t forget to #standuptobeautystandards !

    SNY02553_HR Edited