Tag: body positive

  • Too Cool For School: With rue21

    Too Cool For School: With rue21

    “Lizzie McGuire, you’re an outfit repeater!”,Okay confession time! When I saw the Lizzie McGuire movie in theaters in 2003 at the tender age of 11, just at the end of 5th grade, i was shook by that line. Kate Sanders, Lizzie’s arch nemesis, exposed Lizzie for repeating an outfit at their 8th grade graduation and I remember thinking “wow, how embarrassing! I’ll never let that happen to me!”. From then on I made it my mission to be the most fashionable girl in the room and to never let anyone catch me repeating the same exact look twice! As a matter of fact, in 7th grade a kid in my math class said “I dont think I’ve ever seen you wear the same thing twice.” and I was SO proud. That wouldn’t be the last time I heard that! Obviously I know now, there’s nothing wrong with repeating an outfit, but try telling that to a little tween fashionista like 11 year old Lexi! 

    Lizzie Mcguire was a huge fashion inspiration for me for so many years, so I decided to create some looks inspired by the characters with rue21 pieces! Can you guess who is who? We’ve got Miranda, Kate Sanders,, and of course, Lizzie! They all had some overlapping style throughout the show and film, but in general, Miranda was spunky and edgy, Kate was preppy and girly, and Lizzie was groovy and sweet! So, for my Kate look, I choose this blue and grey argyle polo dress and little pink purse with butterfly chains! For the Miranda look, I opted for some black cargo pants, this red and black dragon top, and these badass sunglasses! Finally for Lizzie I channeled her style that I always felt reflected her personality the most, and choose a cream tank with ruching on the sides, printed flare pants, daisy earrings, and silk daisy bandana! I also styled a look that I feel represents my own style, with a pink bandana print dress and two tone denim jacket. I do think my “Lexi Look” has Lizzie vibes! You’ll notice I wore a pink tattoo choker and black slides for each look because those are both universal go-to staples for any early ‘00’s babe! 

    Gosh, highschool feels like a lifetime ago! And yet somehow, every year when August rolls around, all of those back-to-school memories coming flooding back! I remember shopping for my freshman year of high school and thinking to myself “who do I want to be for the next four years? I don’t know exactly what I was going for, but I decided on a denim mini skirt, black leggings, a black victorian-style top, and wedge sandals! I was convinced that this look was so mature and stylish, it would transform me into the very grown up highschooler I was trying to be. 

    But I learned eventually, that I would be a different person each year! In a lot of ways that’s still true today, because every year I grow older I learn more about who I am. My fashion choices may change with the times, and I’ll keep getting wiser and more confident in myself, but I’ll always be Me! And that’s exactly who I want to be! I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that she doesn’t need to try to be someone else, just the best version of herself! So whether you’re preparing for a new school year, a new job, or just a new season of life, I hope you remember that fall fashion statements are great, but being authentically yourself is that best statement of all! 

    rue21 has me pumped for fall! Y’all know I’m a summer queen, but if there’s one thing that can get me excited for fall, it’s fashion! I love that rue21 has all the newest trends and I think it’s so fun to try new things! rue21 is super affordable too, so I definitely recommend checking them out for all your back to school, fall wardrobe transition, or just closet refresher needs!

  • Space Jam: A New Legacy X rue21

    Any other 90’s babies here? As a 90’s baby, I loved Space Jam growing up! I practically idolized Lola Bunny, but who didn’t! Well it’s time for an all new adventure! Space Jam: A New Legacy is a totally reimagined, action packed movie starring Lebron James and, of course, the legendary Bugs Bunny! Ready for more exciting news?! I’ve teamed up with rue21 to showcase their exclusive Space Jam collection! This collection is comfy, fun, and perfect for lounging, a casual kickback and of course, basketball (but I definitely can’t play basketball, lol)! I’m a whimsical person myself and I consider my style to be a campy, and sometimes even a little bit ironic, expression of my interests and mood! I loved styling this exclusive collection with rue21 and seeing all the different vibes I could convey with these cool Space Jam: A New Legacy pieces! These looks say to me: I’m put together and trendy, but I absolutely still watch cartoons with a bowl of cereal on Saturday mornings!

    It doesn’t get any more comfy than this first look! The Space Jam: A New Legacy piece I chose is this cute, relaxed fit, cropped t-shirt. I really leaned into the relaxed fit and chose to pair this cropped t-shirt with these black and white boyfriend joggers. When I’m telling you rue21 has the BEST sweats, I’m not exaggerating! I kept things casual with elements of flare and added a butterfly ballcap, and rhinestone slides! Because, honestly, am I even me without a little bit of sparkle? I could try to sound cool and tell you this is my courtside ensemble but if I’m being honest, this is my grabbing-iced-coffee ensemble! But if you ask me, these pieces are versatile enough for sleeping, exercising, and every coffee run in between!

    For my second look I wanted to be a little more on the trendy end of the casual style spectrum. I opted for another cropped t-shirt from the Space Jam: A New Legacy collection and continued with the two toned theme we saw with the first fit! Two toned wardrobe pieces are a current trend I am super into right now so don’t be surprised when I tell you I also selected this blue and white, two toned denim jacket! I paired these pieces with a simple black mini skirt and I love the wrapped look in the front. Even with basic staple pieces, I tend to gravitate towards options with a little special detail. Even one small interesting element can really elevate a classic garment! I accessorized this fit with pink sunglasses and slides! I think these pink sunglasses are such a fun throwback to early ‘00s fashion. They give me major Paris Hilton vibes (That’s hot)! I can’t fully express to you how freaking elated I am that slides are all the rage this summer, lol! After spending way too much time at home in 2020, I am super out of practice wearing heels. And as much as I want to have a Hot Girl summer, it’s hard to go from slippers to stilettos so I am super duper relieved we all collectively agreed to basically stick with slippers! Rue21 has a great selection of cute and comfy (like, SO comfy) slides and I think I’m up to nearly 6 pairs and counting!

    If you’re looking to refresh your wardrobe on a budget I’m telling ya, rue21 is your one-stop-shop! With so many exciting events finally happening, it’s only natural to want a new look for every party, concert, date, and vacation! Stay up to date on the latest trends with options in sizes XS-4X that won’t break the bank! And if you’re like me and itching to get back to the movie theater, grab tickets to Space Jam: A New Legacy in theaters nationwide July 16th! Or stay at home (where the popcorn is cheaper) and watch it on HBO Max! For more of this Space Jam: A New Legacy X rue21 exclusive collection, check out the rue21 website here!

  • Hi, I’m Lexi…

    Hey y’all, I‘m Lexi! 

    I haven’t done an introduction in a while so I wanted to hop on here and say howdy or whatever lol! Lot’s of new faces here sooo let’s get to know each other! 

    I’m 28, but my birthday is next month (I’m an aquarius. it all makes sense now, right?) so I’m basically 29! I’m married to the sweetest man alive ( barf, I know) and our one year anniversary is next month too! Someone pray for this man because throw Valentine’s Day in there too and february is about to steal his whole paycheck. I would, but I’m agnostic lol. 

    We have two weird lil dogs, Hans and Mandi Moore and they have their own story highlight but not their own IG because I’m not a freak. I mean, they sleep in the bed with me and I apologize when they fuss at me for getting in their way but…that’s not the point! 

    This is getting long so let’s switch gears here. Rapid fire: I’m an actress/influencer and (pre pandemic) pre-school teacher, Nashville native, pansexual, fat (obvi lol), liberal (like ACAB liberal, Not “liberal”), I have severe ADHD among other shenanigans going on up there, I swear often, rely on unhealthy coping mechanisms such as over caffinating and retail therapy, and I would kill a man with my bare hands for even looking sideways at my baby (16 y.o.) sister because I’ve got nothin to lose and she’s literal baby jesus to me. Did I mention I’m agnostic? I was raised in Nashville but my family is from boston and that wear I learned to talk and be a sentient being so that means i say things like “bless her fuckin heart”. 

    In this house we are healing from past traumas, learning to accept our bodies, speaking our mind, manifesting our destiny, and looking fabulous doing it! Follow me on Instagram ( @lexinimmo ) for daily posts about all things body love, mental health, fat fashion, and lifestyle. Follow me on TikTok ( @lexinimmo ) where I post all day and let loose! Check out my acting work and everything else I’m up to here! Nice to meet ya!

  • My Coming Out Story 🏳️‍🌈

    My Coming Out Story 🏳️‍🌈

    Happy #nationalcomingoutday to all members of the LGBTQIA+ community, whether you’re publicly out, have only told a few trusted people, or haven’t told anyone at all. Your journey is unique and valid, take all the time you need!

    I’m pansexual and proud but it took me a while to get here. I first knew I liked both boys and girls when I was about 7 or 8. I cried to my mom a few times because I was “afraid I’m a lesbian”. She told me I was just comparing my body to other bodies, totally normal. I buried those feelings inside all through middle school and high school, but every now and then it would hit me like a giant wave.

    I was friends with gay, bi, non-binary, and gender fluid kids at my arts high school. I accepted them for exactly as they were but never myself. I didn’t tell anyone I thought I was bisexual until I was 19. By the time I was in my early 20’s I had told a handful of friends but didn’t speak about it freely and hadn’t told my family. I started seeing a new therapist and asked her for advice on coming out to my family. She told me I shouldn’t. She said that it could potentially upset them or change they way they think of me, and unless I was dating a girl, what’s the point? I was totally shocked and hurt. I told her that I felt like that was bad advice, that people should be able to be their honest selves with there closest loved ones. She replied “if telling the truth makes you feel better but hurts the other person, then it’s selfish and you should keep it to yourself.”. For the record, to anyone reading this, she’s wrong!

    I told a few family members when I was 24 and they reacted poorly but not in a dangerous or irreparable way. Just the classic “if your not with a girl then your not no though right? If you’ve never dated a girl how do you even know?”. So frustrating! When you know you know! By that logic, how does a virgin know they’re straight? We seems perfectly comfortable assuming small children are straight, calling them “lady killer” and “flirt” before they even go to kindergarten! I struggled then and still sometimes now believing that my sexuality is, in fact, valid no matter my dating or sexual histories.

    After I came out to those select family members and had to witness their initial reactions on their faces and answer frustrating and offensive questions they could’ve easily googled, I didn’t feel comfortable coming out in private settings or to individual people. I thought that’s how coming out had to be. In movies and TV, coming out is always face to face and dramatic, either positively or negatively. It doesn’t have to be that way! Here’s the thing: this is your personal business and you don’t OWE anyone an explanation. So if posting it on social media is easier for you, do it! If texting is easier, do it! If you do prefer to be one on one face to face, great! If you want to come out to someone in person but you’re nervous, invite a trusted friend who you’ve already come out to to join you. This is your truth and you make the rules. I declared my pansexuality on Facebook and never looked back! I’m sure there were a few people who thought “why didn’t she tell me?” But I had to do what was most comfortable for me.

    A close loved one asked me “why come out if you’re married to a man? What’s the point?”. Great question! Representation matters. Visibility matters. Normalizing being out and proud matters. Every person I know in my personal and professional life is influenced by me in some small way and vice versa. For instance, I don’t know of any queer people in my family and if I had, I would have felt infinitely more secure and safe growing up and coming out. I came out because I don’t want to deny any family member or friend that sense of security I so desperately needed. Also, there’s something to be said for living in your truth. You feel lighter and stronger at the same time. It’s liberating! For resources and support I recommend The Trevor Project , It Gets Better , and Human Rights Campaign.

    Sexuality is a spectrum and labels aren’t the most important thing in the world by far. But being your true authentic self is what national coming out day is all about! As we all head to the polls this November, please consider your queer loved ones. Vote blue to keep them safe and free to be themselves. Get voting information here.

  • 90’s Fall Vibes with rue21

    90’s Fall Vibes with rue21

    Where my 90’s babies at!? 

    I’m so happy 90’s fashion is back because I can finally dress the way I wished I could when I was a kid! I was born in ’92 so by the time I was old enough to dress like Cher from Clueless or Rachel from Friends, the 90’s were out and the early 00’s were in (dear god I hope low rise jeans never come back!). I partnered with rue21 to style some plus size looks for Fall featuring the latest trends! rue21 has the cutest 90’s throwback pieces! Their styles are subtlety retro for an everyday look!

    This first look is perfect for transitioning from Summer to Fall! I’m totally obsessed with this distressed denim jacket and I love the oversized fit. I’ll definitely wear it all Fall! This floral dress is super stretchy for comfort and the ruching is such a nice touch! I think it would look so pretty dressed up for date night too! I paired this outfit with tan boots and a delicate gold tone necklace which will absolutely be staple accessories for me this season!

    For this next look I traded floral for plaid and I’m “totally buggin”! I love this outfit so much and I can’t wait to style this dress a dozen different ways! Though this dress has the look of overalls, its actually super soft and stretchy which makes it extra comfortable. I kept the gold necklace for this fit, but swapped the tan boots out for black! These boots are perfect for Fall and Winter and though the heel is a bit on the higher side, they are really comfy! The chunky heel offers ankle support and also makes for the perfect 90’s vibe!

    Right now rue21 is having an awesome sale up to 50% off! What I love about rue21 is that they offer straight sizes and plus sizes XS-4X at affordable prices! You don’t have to break the bank to keep up with the latest trends! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this season’s 90’s trend, and which of these two looks is your favorite. Head over to my instagram and cast your vote in the comments of my latest rue21 post or check out the poll in my insta stories! For more style inspo checkout the rue21 blog!

     

  • The Porch Chronicles: With Full Beauty Brands

    The Porch Chronicles: With Full Beauty Brands

    Before quarantine I never thought much of my porch. Now it’s one of my favorite places to sit and feel connected to the outside world! Here are some of my fave porch looks this month!

    This sleeveless eyelet dress from Jessica London is the perfect spring and summer staple! It’s available in sizes 12-28 and also comes in soft geranium. The best part: IT HAS POCKETS! Eyelet is timeless and angelic. This dress is a definite keeper.

    This stripped linen faux wrapped dress from Ellos is easy, breezy, and comfy! It comes in sizes 10-28 and goes with anything! It is a little low cut, so if you’re a busty babe like myself, I suggest wearing a bralette or cami underneath. Layering a t-shirt with a sundress is also a look and I plan on trying that!

    I’m obsessed with the knit surplice maxi dress from Ellos! It’s super soft and flowy which is just what I need for these warmer days. It comes in 6 different colors and is available in sizes S-5X. Ellos sizing is a little different, so be aware that for this dress a small is size 10-12 and 5X is 38-40. I’m wearing a 1X (22-24) because I like to size up for comfort, but the sizing is so generous I could have just stuck to my usual 18/20.


    Another winner with pockets!!! Boy, do I love dresses with pockets. This ruffled off the shoulder dress particularly! This is probably my favorite dress right now because it’s festive, comfortable, and…did I mention the pockets? It’s from Roamans and is available in size 10-32 and the fit is forgiving and flattering! This dress definitely gets me excited about future brunch plans and patio parties but it’s also comfy enough to wear while I water my plants and sip iced coffee on my porch!

    Even though my fun summer plans are on hold for the foreseeable future, I do love dressing cute for myself. It’s nice to put on a pretty dress and some hoops, sit outside with a whipped coffee (if you haven’t tried it, recipe here!) and chat on FaceTime with my mom. My neighbors walk past and wave hello and I feel human. Right now it’s all about the little things!

    You can checkout these looks and more on my Instagram!

  • Dressing Up With FullBeauty Brands

    Dressing Up With FullBeauty Brands

    Okay first things first, how y’all doing? Girl, same! Bleh! I feel like I’m bouncing from panic to naps, to delirious laughter all day. Nothing about this COVID-19 “new normal” is normal. So I’ve been trying to encourage myself to do some “normal” things every so often to keep me grounded.

    I try to dress up once a week! Lately I just want to wear sweats on the couch and eat Doritos (yum) but after a while I feel icky. It’s good for me to switch it up and cute cute even even it’s just for the gram…or my newest obsession, TikTok! Full Beauty Brands sent me some lovely pieces from Jessica London, Roamans, and Ellos and they are perfect for a stylish spring look that’s still comfy to wear in my apartment or on my porch, the only places I ever go now!

    Another thing I do to keep my head straight is FaceTime with friends and family! I try to look cute(ish) for this too because it helps me feel like I’m getting ready to go socialize! A fun outfit and a bit of makeup always elevates my mood at least a little and that sets the tone for a more enjoyable phone call! I’ve also been doing therapy over Zoom which I highly recommend! So even if it’s just a cute top and some lipstick, I feel like myself when a put a bit of effort into getting ready for video chats!

    I occasionally need to go to the grocery store or pharmacy for essentials and while this is indeed a stressful scenario, I try to make the most of it. I’m making an effort to practice gratitude so I see grocery shopping as a privilege! I’m so grateful to essential employees who make shopping for my meals possible. Selecting my favorite snacks and small comforts have become a sacred part of my week so I look forward to my rare grocery trip and enjoy dressing up for the occasion! Obviously whatever you wear is perfect as long as you feel comfortable. Clothes can mean so much to us as a way to express ourselves and soothe ourselves. So what’s best for you and stay safe! We are in this together and I’m here for you if you need to talk!

  • The Peanut Butter Sucker

    The Peanut Butter Sucker

    I knew from day one of wedding planning that I wanted a traditional wedding cake as our only dessert and the crown jewel of the food. No chocolate fountain or donut wall, just a beautiful, elegant cake. So when it came to choosing a wedding cake I was super stressed! There are so many options for flavor, style, shape, colors -I didn’t know where to start. But when I partnered with the team at Peanut Butter Sucker they walked me through each step and made the process so fun, it was…well, a piece of cake!

    When Q and Shawn of The Peanut Butter Sucker asked me what my vision was and what flavors I had in mind all I new was I want white, classic, and elegant! From there they helped me decide all the little details by asking all the right questions and guiding me through all of my options. We decided that we would do a clean white, tiered cake, decorated with flowers from my wholesaler (red roses and white calla lilies) and that I would try flavors that are chocolate and fruity. When it was time to do a cake tasting Q and Shawn brought Madagascar Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, and Coconut cake for Will and I to try. Along with the cake they also brought Cheesecake, Strawberry, Coconut Pecan, and Mixed Berry filling (to go between the layers) and Vanilla, Champagne, Cream Cheese and Brown Sugar butter cream frosting.

    Will and I tried every possible combination and loved everything! It was super hard to choose but a few flavors jumped out at us and we narrowed it down to Chocolate and Coconut cake and Cheesecake and Mixed Berry filling. From there we decided to do a three tier cake with the top tier foam because with such a small guest list two tiers would be plenty of cake and we still wanted the look of three tiers. So the middle tier would be two layers of Chocolate cake with cheesecake filling and the bottom tier would be Coconut Cake with mixed berry filling. The only road block we hit was when we couldn’t quiet agree on the butter cream frosting. After much deliberation, I was about to throw in the towel and just let Will pick because nothing was really speaking to me, when Shawn mentioned they also have a White Chocolate buttercream. Will and I instantly agreed on the White Chocolate sight unseen because we love white chocolate in general and we just new it would be perfect because everything The Peanut Butter Sucker makes is delicious!

    Even though I tried the cake myself I still worried that flavor and texture would have to be sacrificed for the design. In my past experiences with fancy cakes and cookies, you could either have something pretty or something that tastes good and never both. Being a nervous, overthinking bride, I was concerned the cake wouldn’t live up to my high expectations. When I finally saw the cake the day of my wedding my jaw dropped! This cake exceeded all of my expectations. It was stunning, even more beautiful that I could have imaged! The butter cream frosting was so smooth it looked like fondant and the fresh flowers were expertly arranged. I didn’t even want to cut into it because it was so beautiful! But I’m glad we did because it was absolutely delicious! The filling and buttercream was rich and creamy and the cake was moist and fresh. It was genuinely the best cake I’ve ever had! We ended up with some leftovers and we had to fight for them (jk…sort of!) . The morning after our wedding we ate cake for breakfast and we were so sad when it was all gone. I’ve never been so impressed with a bakery in my life and from now on I will forever turn to The Peanut Butter Sucker for my events!

  • Jessica London Summer Edit

    6C1A70A4-2EDE-4894-9A82-F5FEA8B7E87FBy now it’s no mystery that I am a huge Jessica London fan! But I mean, come one, can you blame me? Jessica London is an online women’s clothing retailer that carries sizes 10-32 in a variety of styles and trends both classic and new! There’s truly something for everyone and that’s not something you see often! Right now Jessica London is having an awesome sale, an extra $25 off orders $50+ plus free shipping on order $75+ with code JLESUMMER25! So before you rush over for your new summer wardrobe,  I put together a little look book of my favorite Jessica London Summer styles! 

     

    The Every Occasion Dress

    There’s honestly no better feeling than finding THE perfect dress. You know the one! The dress that fits practically every occasion, is comfortable AND cute! Well this is *that* dress and babe, it has pockets! I know, I know, you’re welcome! This dress is currently available in sizes 12-28 and also comes in floral print! DFCD8327-5658-4883-BAE7-A4E6B474C66A

     

    Peppy Pink Blazer (aka the Barbie Blazer)

    Everyone needs a good blazer for work, interviews and networking events because nothing says, I’m professional and fabulous like a sharp blazer! Pink is my signature color so I love adding this Jessica London blazer to any neutral outfit for a pop of summer color and a flare of Lexi! Pink not your thing? Fear not! This blazer comes in white as well! This stye is currently available in size 12-28. JL also carries a variety of blazers in many other colors if you’re in need of a classic back or grey! 6050A07B-9999-42EE-A4D5-C9B1565FC49A

     

    Date Night Dress

    Summer style is all about colors! I’ve been gravitating toward sunny happy yellow this season! This bow sleeve dress is the perfect dress for a night on the town that will surely help you make a statement. This dress is currently available in sizes 12-24, and is only one of many eye catching, brightly colored pieces Jessica London has to offer. 2F73AF60-3E40-4562-B83C-7C8EC059AD9D

     

    Classic Black and White 

    As much as I love bright fun colors, sometimes a girl just needs a classic black and white look (paired with red lips, of course!) It’s a timeless trend that compliments everyone. You can’t go wrong! These Tummy Control Twill Ankle Pants are both comfortable and chic! They come in a variety of colors and patterns and are currently available in size 12-28. This black and white Lace Tunic is refined with a bit of flare. This feminine and flouncy top is currently available in sizes 12-26. C164D32C-CCC6-42DF-A875-E8B93D698F6B

     

    The Ultimate Comfy Fit 

    This last outfit is hands down the most comfortable summer look ever! This soft Cross Neck Tunic is both flattering and versatile and is currently available in sizes 12-32 as well as different colors and patterns! These stretchy and stylish Palazzo Pants are also available in sizes 12-32 as well multiple colors and patterns. Whether you’re chillin’ in your backyard, running errands, or attending an outdoor concert, this is a go-to for those hot summer days! 543F4176-64BB-48D1-B40F-AF9BF719A556

     

    98B82D3E-038E-4A9C-BECA-2374AF090DD0I’d love to see what goodies you find, so be sure to post a pic of you in your new outfit on instagram and tag @lexinimmo and @jessicalondonstyle! If you want to be featured on the Jessica London page, use hashtag #imwithjessica. For a feature on my page, be sure to use my hashtag #standuptobeautystandards! Happy shopping, y’all!

     

  • Dated On A Dare

    When I was in middle school a boy asked me out and dated me for two months…on a dare. I was inspired to share this story after blogger Stephanie Yeboah ( http://www.nerdabouttown.com ) shared her personal expertise with being asked out on a dare. I highly recommend her blog, instagram, and twitter so make sure you follow her!

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    Me at 13 holding my baby sister

     

     

     

    We were in 7th grade and I had just turned 13. I had previously transferred to an arts magnet school but had to transfer back to my zoned school mid year due to severe bullying (including death threats) for being fat. Kids would grab my stomach and shake it, stick pencils and markers down my pants while I sat in class, push me in the hallways, and say horrible things, most of which iv’e blocked out of my memory. When asked for guidance on how to handle the bullying, the principle at the magnet school told my my parents that I should stop drawing attention to myself and lay low…yikes. So even though I had been bullied at my zoned school as well, I didn’t rice death threats and the prickle was slightly more receptive. So there I am, middle of the year in the 7th grade, vulnerable and defeated. Then along came Zack (name NOT changed because fuck you, dude).

    Zack was new to school too, but from another state so he was even newer than me and knew no one. He was small and cute with a Justin Bieber vibe (before JB was a thing). I don’t remember what class we had together because middle school was genuinely so traumatic I blocked most of it out of my memory (except that one time I left my hello kitty coffee travel mug full of coffee in my locker for a week and it got all chunky and gross. that I will never forget.). Zack was tan, word a puka bead necklace and smelled strongly of axe body spray. When I saw him I immediately passed a note to my friend telling her how cute I thought Zack was. She replied that her boyfriend and Zack were friends and she could try to set us up. OMG!

    After many notes passed and flirting at the local skate park where Zack and my friends boyfriend made very failed attempts at skate boarding, Zack asked me to be his girlfriend. For about two months the four of us went to movie and coffee shops and had inside jokes. Zack was the second boy I had ever kissed but the first one I had other physical experiences with, making our bond feel very real and intense to my naive teenage brain.  Everything was so perfect and such a relief from the abuse school environment I had escaped. I felt like I belonged and maybe the years or relentless bullying were behind me. Little did I know Melanie had other plans for me (name NOT changed because fuck you Melanie!).

    I don’t remember how Zack dumped me. I don’t know if it was over the phone, or in a note, or to my face. All I remember is sitting in the bleachers in gym glass sobbing like there had been a death. I was surround by a few girlfriends one of which was my best friends friend Melanie. Melanie and I were friends in 5th grade but some odd unspoken rivalry began to brew either because she was bored or because we were both actresses and she felt threatened. She was always catty and snarky to me but in a subtle enough way that kept her from getting in trouble at school and tricked our other friends into thinking she was nice. Sounds kind of like Regina George from Mean Girls, right? Well Melanie would have taken that as a compliment. If your familiar with Mean Girls, Melanie was Regina, I was Caddy and my best friend was a combo of Karen and Gretchen. (It was 2005 so obviously Mean Girls was a huge part of our lives.)

    While comforting me on the bleachers with the other girls, Melanie called Zack over and told him to hug me. It was super awkward and strange that 1. my ex was comforting me about OUR breakup and 2. he did what she told him to do. After school I was supposed to go to drama club, which consisted of mostly 5th graders who had no idea what they were doing, Melanie, and me. I considered skipping but decided it would be a good outlet for my emotions. When I arrived everyone was seated in a circle of chairs and sitting right next to Melanie was-Zack!? I sat down, totally in shock and the drama teacher says “Everyone, welcome our new member Zack!”. People clapped. I held back vomit. Melanie then puts her arm around Zack and gently touches his nose saying “Alexis, don’t you think his little sunburn is cute? I think its cute.” Some one call a priest to exercise the regina George demon out of this bitches body!

    I ran out of the room crying, and had a full blown panic attack in the bathroom. My best friend got out of cheer practice and I rode home with her, still sobbing uncontrollably. I remember her dad sweetly asking “is there anything I can do?” and my best friend saying “I don’t think so.”. We watch Selena and Gilmore Girls and I cried so much I’m surprised I didn’t need IV fluids. Later that night Zack called me to apologize. Thats when he told me that he had asked me out on a dare. He asked Melanie out months ago and she rejected him. when he persisted she dared him to ask me out instead and said if he did and reported every little detail of our relationship back to her and then broke up with me, that she would reward him by going out with him. I had never felt so violated before. Even all the verbal and physical abuse and the death threats at my old school, this was the most demoralizing thing that had ever been done to me. Our entire relationship had been a lie and a joke. I was broken.

    Thankfully High School was a different story. I had boyfriends and good friends and people thought I was hot. There were plenty of people who hated me and thought I was gross but It was much more even. But I never really shook that shame and humiliation from years of extreme bullying and it manifested in codependent and paranoid behavior in my relationships and friendships. Thats because people thinking you’re hot doesn’t fix your problems. You have to love yourself to be happy. It wasn’t until the past few years that I finally became the strong unbreakable woman I am today.  COME AT ME MELANIE.

    Something I need people reading this to understand is this happens to fat poeple all the time. I promise almost every single fat person has a story about being the butt of a dating dare or joke. When I read Stephanie Yeboah’s story online and read the comments they were divided into two types of people. People who are/were fat and had a similar experience and people who are not fat and blame HER for what happened to her. Let me make this very clear: a person being fat doesn’t give someone that right to abuse them verbally or physically. Someone else weight is not only none of your business but its absolutely not free pass to say or do whatever you want to them. Fat people deserve respect, period. We don’t owe you thinness. Being thin is not a requirement from being treated with basic human decency.

    To my fellow plus size girls and women, you are beautiful. You’re more than a body and you are worthy of respect and love. There are more people in this world who accept you than there are who don’t, but unfortunately hate is louder. #standuptobeautystandards and show the world you don’t need anyones permission to love yourself. They don’t like like it? They can kiss our fat asses!

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